Sorry
I just Murdered your God. But it was in self defence I swear.
Those
who know me well should understand that this is somewhat
metaphoric. I've never been much of a god-botherer but the
destruction he causes through his mindless worshipers is
all around me. All around you and all around the world.
So I killed him for you. You can thank me later. The Murder
weapon was a kife of pure logic. Logic worthy of a Douglas
Adams novel.
Actually
to be honest I'm not sure if I killed God or just rendered
him/her impotent but I really fucked the devil up bad and
that was the original idea. It just so happens it fucks
God up as well. Sorry about that. It's really quite simple
and search as I might, no-one's seemed to work this out.
There
is a famous story about one Robert Johnson, a Blues guitarist
from the 30s (Did I get that right? who gives a shit?) Anyway
as the story goes, Robert Johnson Sold his soul to the devil
at a cross roads in return for fame, fortune and the ability
to play the GeeTar Real good.
Mean
while, for years now the Devil has been trying to fuck my
life up so that I'd want to get revenge at all costs. Though
I have definitely want revenge, and I WILL have it if I
haven't already, I have declined his offer to trade my soul
in exchange for the brief satisfaction it would bring me
to fuck the lives of those who've ever fucked with me.
So far the Devil has sent me:
* Physical
and psychological torture at school resulting in a life
time of clinical depression and other wonderful manifestations.
*
Leading me always
to the brink of breakthroughs in my quest to be "A
big Rock and Roll Star" as Marilyn Manson put it. Only
to build me up and cause disappointment which results in
months of deep depression.
* An
unshakeable love of music but cutting off all avenues of
getting it out there. (I think both he and God conspired
on this one.)
* Giving
me the need to love but making sure I either have no chance
of finding it or if I do, being kicked in the teeth for
even caring.
* Giving
me ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and Dyslexia
at birth so that I'd spend all my life thinking I was a
bad person even though I knew I wasn't. And getting pushed
around and abused for it. With no chance of any sympathy
let alone any understanding. Then discovering what the story
was but only after it's too late to do anything about it.
* Shattering
all my dreams, hopes and aspirations.
* Giving
me teachers at school, who's idea of treating dyslexia,
after I was diagnosed, (and not ADD at the time.) was to
try and bash it out of me even harder.
* Through
this mechanism, causing me to fuck up at times when I either
knew I was right and were, or suddenly say the wrong thing
when I was trying to say something else even though I knew
what I had to say. Causing me much stress and/or embarrassment
and leaving me with no clue as to how to deal with it.
* Causing
me to have a Motorcycle accident which resulted in a damaged
ankle and neck. The latter of which causes often debilitating
pain to begin with. AND...
* Giving
me a tumor in my neck that required 7 operations, a year
of hospitalization, the most horrific medical nightmares,
(only they were real) Resulting in massive nerve damage
and other physiological damage and consequences that means
I'm in pain most of the the time.
* Taking
away my voice so I can barely speak at all let alone sing.
* Sending
the Police in to persecute me for a year because I opposed
internet censorship and had the audacity to refer to the
senator who forced it through, as a religious nutter. An
act which while completely devastating me ironically resulted
in demotions for the police officers involved and costing
the tax payer an estimated 30 grand. And ending up with
no result. Hey guys, did you really expect to find my 80
year old mother selling drugs to kids at the bus stop? Here's
a hint guys. There is no bus stop.
* Finally
after causing all this shit, offering me a deal to sell
my soul in order to exact revenge. Allowing me to know who
the perps were and what they'd done to me to cause all this
suffering.
Now
wait just a cock suckin' minute! The devil did this to me
so he could force me to want to sell him my soul to exact
revenge on people who he'd directed to cause the problems
in the first place. Sorry Pal, Your logic may work on Joe
Dickwad in the street who couldn't think their way out of
a paper bag but the one good thing about ADD is that we're
far more creative thinkers than that. We may not be able
to recite the alphabet backwards to save ourselves but we
generally have a higher IQ than your average Devil.
It's
not the people I want revenge on. It's the Devil. And maybe
God as well for letting it happen. For not allowing me to
be the person I should have been. For allowing me to load
up with all this fear and loathing with no vent for release.
And
I now have that revenge on both of you.
God
can only exist if people have faith and faith alone. For
a person to have faith one can never be allowed proof of
God's existence. To have proof of God's existence means
he can no longer exist. Or no-longer have any control over
your life. Giving you the god-like control of your own destiny.
But otherwise, as they say, "To know is to die."
IE: you'll know God exists for sure when you die and go
to heaven or hell.
The
Devil is a fallen angel apparently. Cast down from heaven.
For the Devil to exist then God has to exist. And here's
the good bit. The bit no-one seems to have figured out to
my knowledge. If the Devil comes along at your personal
cross roads and offers you all you can eat in exchange for
your soul, it means that God exists. The Devil has tipped
his hand and given you proof of God's existence. Therefore
both God and the Devil are suddenly non-existent because
you know. The moment the Devil makes an offer and you realize
this, you instantly murder them both.
Or
at the very least make them completely impotent. Incapable
of harming you in anyway. The devil offers you what you
want in the physical world in exchange for your soul. But
there's the devil standing before you which means that God
exists. First up then, you can tell the devil to piss off
and leave you alone because now that you know God exists,
he can take a hike. "I'm with God." But because
you now have proof that God exists, therefore he can't.
And thus, neither can the devil.
The
Devil has to get off your back or risk his own non-existence.
Neither of them can ever come near you and fuck up your
life again because you possess the key to destroy both of
them. In fact you have the key to make them dance to your
tune for a change.
If
the devil already has approached you then he'll probably
have to sell you his own soul to survive. Which gives you
a hell of a lot of power. All of which Christians and other
religious maniacs of all faiths should be extremely concerned
about. And Bow down before me or I'll send 'em all to hell.
The
only problem with knowing I'm not personally going to hell
is that I won't get to see the likes of Jerry Falwell and
Pat Robertson burn there. (But I can install cameras and
watch them burn on TV) Which brings me to another little
set of semantics.
Hell
is supposed to be pain without relief. Hey I've already
got that here so obviously the Christians have got this
all ass up. Hell is on Earth. And since I would derive much
pleasure from seeing Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Fred
Nile, The entire Catholic church and every other priest
child rapist, burn in hell, how can Hell be a bad place?
What
I've proved here is that God and the devil, and all religion,
is nothing more than semantics. You are all your own gods
and your own devils. Get over it. You've made your world
now lie in it.
If
you want peace then just stop the fuck fighting. As I use
to say to bullies who wanted to bash my head in after school.
"No problems, I'll be there. But If I'm late, start
without me."
NOTE:
If you failed to grasp the points above, then tough luck.
If it hit home, then you've probably just ascended one notch.
In which case contact me and I'll give you a gate pass to
my heaven should you want it.
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